The one advice for every healthy relationship
There's something with relationships that brings out the best of us and at times the very worst. It's in their very nature. Some days I could literally catch the moon for someone dear to me, and some days I can't help but want to burn that very same someone. I can't always explain why my mood shifts so suddenly (sure you could say PMS, hormones, context, work). So most of the time I go with a simple "I'm tired. That's all". My best-friend knows. She knows that when I pronounce those words, it's time for me time, nothing else will do. But there're cases when simply saying "I need alone time" can't do. Work for instance. 'Sorry boss - now is not gonna do it. Not feeling it'. We've all at some point, more often than not maybe, let our work get affected by personal circumstances, whether because we had a fight with a friend, because we broke-up with someone, or we received a bad news. Dealing with things in silos can be very hard, and as we are not machines finding the balance between professionalism and feelings is damn hard.
So here's is the one single advice that is key in balancing your personal time and your work life.
#1: Open communication
Sounds easy. Now let me put this into context. At the beginning of my now 3 years (very happy) relationship, I had this incapacitating condition: I have no idea how to communicate (properly). Of course I could express myself, but when it came to expressing my feelings, to put words to my emotions, to distill the essence of my anger or pain or confusion- it was a whole other story. I didn't want to be that whining annoying girlfriend picking a fight each time I could justify a "reason" to do so. No reason was good enough for me to start an argument. I would just completely close myself up and internalise and try to deal with it on my own. Bad, bad, bad. And so one day I just exploded because as perfect as he is... well you know, relationship right? He convinced me that communication was key for us moving forward. It was hard for me at first, opening up to someone, being vulnerable, being heard but after some time it felt so good, so relieving to be able to talk about the good and the bad without any fear. Being able to say to another person "Look, it's no big deal but I don't like when xxx". It's no big deal unless you keep stuff in and one day implode. I'm not saying the art of communication is easy, I'm saying it's healthy.
So now pleeeeeaase....
Whether it's at home, at work or with friends, do your best to find the words and the right moment to express what's on your heart. I've stop counting the time I asked a friend who just had a fight with someone "Have you told her/him the way you told me? Have you talked about it?" because the answer is always no. We never, ever really say what we feel or mean. Why? God knows why! Are we just afraid we might not be rational, are we afraid to be left alone, are we afraid to hurt someone's else feelings, or maybe we just don't have the words to explain our minds. Trying to be the most honest possible isn't only about improving your relationships, it is also about feeling honest and at one with yourself. If you tell honestly your friend that you don't want to go to that party because it annoys the sh...t out of you, then just say that instead of torturing your mind with finding (dumb) excuses. If you tell your boyfriend to do something you wish he had done or even thought about, he won't broke-up with you. If you tell you workmate that you didn't like something they say or did, you won't be made office enemy number one. Try to add a little bit more of open communication into your life because, believe me it feels gooood.
Have you already experienced the positive impact of communication through your relations? Please hit us in the section comments, the more the merrier !