Start manifesting your dream life (so they say)
I have been reading about manifesting dreams these last few weeks.
Everything in my life up until the start of professional life had been manifesting after manifesting. I would visualize the schools and the programs I wanted to enter and ‘magically’ put in the work required, and one after the other, goals would manifest. Naivety? Blind positivity? Or sheer faith in life’s boundless possibilities that hard work and preparation can provide? No - I honestly think that things were easier to foresee. Each year had a plan, and a clear purpose. And each year without fail, goals would successfully get reached. And it continued to feel like that in my first company. The path was clear. The equation of goal= (focus+hard work) was clear. And so visualizing my future felt achievable and realistic. I could picture the next promotion, feel what it would be like to move up and manifest it into my life. And it did.
And then it stopped. The ‘goal’ component suddenly felt erased from the equation. And it felt like paddling in mud, with focus and hard work but without knowing what the goal was.
What they don’t tell you upon leaving the comfort of grades and graduate programs, is that pretty much everything will be up to you to imagine, let alone hope for, work for and manifest. Everything is possible and yet nothing truly feels like it is.
And this reality is so frustrating. The more I am hearing about manifesting - manifesting your dream life - the more I cower. What do I (actually) want to manifest in this thing called ‘my life’?
The elevator pitch of my dream life isn’t carefully crafted. It is very much in its beta version.
The house, the guy, the material things, the dog, the family… are crystal clear. But MY dream - the career - the business - the office - the purpose still feel vague, opaque, hard to clearly call-out. And yes, I am frustrated that I cannot sit front row of the trailer of my life. I so wish that I could say what my dream job was. I wish I could say out loud what my ambitions are - like really. I wish I could visualize all these things, to accelerate them into my life.
Add the feeling component
The one thing I do know however, is the feeling that my dreams procur, and that I can choose to focus on that. To hold this feeling as my truth and as the future. I see myself happy and fulfilled and buzzing creating more candles collections. I feel myself content building a brand that touches and comforts people. I see myself exciting about speaking out on self care and mental health and love. I love creating an impact - sometimes ever so slight but a real one in my community of women. I love the feeling of highlighting and celebrating the incredible women around me. I love leading other women into gentleness and ambitious lives.
So there is no answer then, just seeking and questioning and imagining. And i guess that is good enough for now.
If you want to get more into manifesting, I highly recommend
Yoga Girl podcast episode: How to Manifest Anything You Want (15th February 2019)
This candid article on Goop, about starting into manifesting and Emily Fletcher school of thought. It really got me intrigued.
Cover picture by As We Are Now